June 9, 2009
I've been SNUBBED!

A respected artist made a painting of all the most important Pandas, AND LEFT ME OUT. I just can’t believe this.  I’m so angry, I could shred an entire carpet.

•
May 10, 2009
This game is sooo boring. I always win. The best strategy is to knock off the other players’ pieces off the board and whack their cheeses under the couch. Then, when they’re crawling around looking for the pieces, take bodily possession of the game board and start growling whenever anyone tries to touch you. So, I always win, ‘cause I’m just so much smarter than everyone else. 

This game is sooo boring. I always win. The best strategy is to knock off the other players’ pieces off the board and whack their cheeses under the couch. Then, when they’re crawling around looking for the pieces, take bodily possession of the game board and start growling whenever anyone tries to touch you. So, I always win, ‘cause I’m just so much smarter than everyone else. 

•
April 8, 2009
It’s important to neutralize your enemies. My fiercest oponant, Little Red Ball, doesn’t look so bouncy anymore, heh, heh, heh!

It’s important to neutralize your enemies. My fiercest oponant, Little Red Ball, doesn’t look so bouncy anymore, heh, heh, heh!

•
February 22, 2009
Check out the guns.  You know, I don’t even work out. I just naturally have a very powerful body. Some people have to work on being awesome; but me, I was born this way. Sometimes I’ll spend like 45 minutes just looking at my arms thinking, “wow, I am so impressive…” 

Check out the guns. 

You know, I don’t even work out. I just naturally have a very powerful body. Some people have to work on being awesome; but me, I was born this way.

Sometimes I’ll spend like 45 minutes just looking at my arms thinking, “wow, I am so impressive…” 

•
February 20, 2009
Lame website--nothing to kill

So, like, for this website, it’s supposed to give you all these different animals to kill (butterflies, birds, gophers-tasty right?). Now, I am really good at killing stuff, so I knew something was off when I kept batting at the screen and couldn’t get any of them. I couldn’t even, like, torture them. So I think that this website is some kind of trick. Or super-strong birds, butterflies, and gophers will start to attack us through our computers

•
February 7, 2009
I’m totally ready to start blogging again. Check out my super awesome new computer. It’s called a McBook-because, um, I think they’re all like hand-crafted in Scotland or something. Whatever, I love it, it’s so warm and it fits me perfectly!

I’m totally ready to start blogging again. Check out my super awesome new computer. It’s called a McBook-because, um, I think they’re all like hand-crafted in Scotland or something. Whatever, I love it, it’s so warm and it fits me perfectly!

•
December 6, 2008

So here are some more of my mad hunting skills. That crinkly piece of paper had no idea I was coming. I’m just so stealth!

•
November 19, 2008
I don’t wanna talk about it…

I don’t wanna talk about it…

•
November 11, 2008
It’s obvious. Paws are so much better than feet—you get twice as many, they come with retractable claws, and they’re easy to lick clean. Feet are ugly, paws are cute.

It’s obvious. Paws are so much better than feet—you get twice as many, they come with retractable claws, and they’re easy to lick clean. Feet are ugly, paws are cute.

•
October 18, 2008
A cat who is not as awesome as me

This is my cousin’s blog. Unfortunately, awesomeness is not inherited. As you can clearly see, he gets himself photographed in the most embarrassing situations and can barely express his thoughts in coherent sentences. It’s sad. But after spending over two years thinking about what awesomeness means to me, and how I truly am a cat-sonification of greatness, I’ve come to realize that some cats will never come close to my level, no matter how hard they try. Omigod, my cousin can barely handle subject-verb agreement. Ug… maybe he was adopted or something.

•